


And That's the Tea

by SnowBirb



Series: Egos in the Basement [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye egos - Fandom
Genre: Misunderstandings, Old fogeys not understanding how the modern day functions, Shoddy Journalism, Trans Jackieboyman, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 20:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19070188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowBirb/pseuds/SnowBirb
Summary: After Jackie's first interview, confusion spreads through social media. But hey, at least it's funny?





	And That's the Tea

**Out of the Comic Pages**

_In recent years, the popularity of superhero stories has skyrocketed. This has led to some individuals emulating the behaviours in these stories. These “Real-Life Superheroes” have started taking justice into their own hands, to varying effect. The Telegraph’s Brittany Pearson sat down with one of these vigilantes, known simply as the “The Brighton Vigilante”, or the BV._

**Pearson:** So first of all, I want to thank you to agreeing to this call. I think you’ll have an interesting perspective people will want to hear.

 **BV:** Yeah, no problem. You seemed pretty chill about all this, and I figured if people know I’m not, like, an insane person, they’d feel a little better about me being around.

[Laughter]

 **P:** To start off, would you like to introduce yourself?

 **BV:** I guess? Right now I just go by BV. One of these days I’ll think of a better name. Um, I work...is that the right term? It's not like I get paid for this.

 **P** : However you want to define it.

 **BV:** Right. So I...operate out of Brighton, England. I just kinda hang around the streets and help people if they look like they need it. Muggings, assault, you know, anything like that.

 **P:** And you’ve been doing this for how long now?

 **BV:** About two years.

 **P:** What inspired you to begin this sort of work?

 **BV:** I’ve always had a problem with assholes picking on vulnerable people. I got a lot of shit in Secondary School, and so did my friends, so I learned martial arts to defend myself. Nearly expelled more than once.[Laughter] Yeah, that’s not gonna help my case. But uh, anyhow, when I moved to the city, I saw some of the uglier stuff here. I figure the police aren’t gonna be able to get to everyone, so I decided to pick up some of the slack.

 **P:** Were there any people in your life who specifically inspired you?

 **BV:** Yeah, uh...my cousin. He, um, he saw that I was getting into fights a lot. So he tried to get me to use that for good. It really meant a lot, since my other family was just trying to get me to stop instead of help me focus.

 **P:** And does he know what you’re doing now? Is he proud of you?

[Pause]

 **BV:** He’s not really...available right now. But I think he would be proud. If he was.

 **P:** Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.

 **BV:** It’s fine.

[Pause]

 **P:** Is it alright if we move on?

 **BV:** Sure, yeah.

 **P:** What fighting styles do you rely on, and what sort of training do you have?

 **BV:** Um, I, [sniff], sorry, I mostly use karate and boxing, and some parkour for getting around. And I do have first aid training, if that’s what you mean?

 **P:** Your voice has deepened significantly since you first entered the public eye. Was there another Brighton Vigilante whom you took over for?

 **BV:** [Laugh] No, no, it’s just the tea.

 **P:** Your costumes, are they handmade, or outsourced, or taken from military supply stores?

 **BV:** I just…..

 _Thank you for reading! For the full article, please subscribe to_ The Telegraph _, or make a donation_ _here_ _._

>=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=<

Jackie walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Chase perked up as he walked in, leaving the toastre to ruffle his hair. “Hey, I’m proud of you! The article turned out great!”

Jackie pushed off his hand. “That came out today?”

 _Yes, this morning_ , Jameson signed from the kitchen table. _I’m just reading it now. You did very well for your first interview!_

“Thanks, guys.” Jackie said, grabbing a cup of coffee. Chase patted him on the back. “Got anything you need to do today? We should celebrate.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“Nuh-uh, I’m buying ice cream later.”

“Well, I mean, I’m not gonna turn that down, even if I don’t need it.”

Everyone gradually settled. Chase fried up some bacon and eggs as Henrik and Marvin slunk their way in. Breakfast passed without much fuss, aside from everyone drilling it into his head how proud of Jackie they were. Jameson cleared the table as Chase booted up his laptop.

“Yes, I do remember that in my ethics classes. We touched on it very briefly, though. I am not sure how much help I will be,” Henrik was saying.

“Any help is something. This course is kicking my ass-” Jackie was interrupted by Chase breaking down laughing.

“Everything okay over there?” Marvin asked, eyebrow cocked.

Chase waved a hand as he gasped for air. “Just, just check twitter. Holy shit, I can't believe how stupid some people are.”

“...Alright?” Jackie pulled out his phone. As soon as he logged onto twitter, he was bombarded by headlines.

_What is “Tea”? What exactly was the Brighton Vigilante referring to?_

_“TEE”: A new street drug? Journalists are investigating a new drug with adverse effects on the voice box._

_Is afternoon tea alienating teens?_

_How golf may be shaping childrens' senses of justice._

“What. The Fuck” Jackie said. He clicked on one article at random.

 _THE SUN: Is Internet Drama pushing our children over the edge?_  
Could new sources of entertainment be a threat to your child? Perhaps. Some are now positing that scandals, colloquially referred to as “Tea”, could be warping developing views on the world. The frequency of this drama makes children believe the world is in dire straits, raising mental illness, and, in one case, making them resort to such extremes as vigilantism.

[Continue]

**Comments- 1084**

_This is the funniest article I’ve read all year._

_Your heard it here first guys, James Charles caused my depression_

_Oh yeah, it’s totally the youtubers. Couldn’t be the planet rapidly deteriorating, or corporations exploiting their workers, or the US has LITERAL CONCENTRATION CAMPS. That would be ridiculous._

“What...on God’s green earth...are they smoking at the Sun?” Marvin laughed, reading over Jackie’s shoulder. “Holy hell.”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna..” Jackie pointed upstairs. “Make a call.”

 

**Out of the Comic Pages**

_(Edit) After publication, BV contacted our offices with the following message:_

“Hi, so people seem to be a bit confused about something I said. I meant “T” as in testosterone. I’m a trans dude, so I’m taking hormones. That’s why my voice deepened. And please don’t use this as an excuse to demonize trans people. Please.”

 

June 18th, 2019: yourfaveisatransicon.tumblr.com - **The Brighton Vigilante** from **Real Life** is a trans icon!

I swear I’m not making this shit up.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I don't even know. This is just a weird thought I had at midnight last night. And I figured, hey, why not flesh it out into something?  
> If you notice any errors, please, feel free to point them out! Thanks for reading!


End file.
